When you’re traveling for business, it’s always good to know some facts about the city you’re going to: Is there a cool social scene, is it hard to get around, is it colder than a witches tit in February, and, of course, which cities are the friendliest to newcomers and travelers?

Nowadays, us newfangled kids with our dangflabbit sexting technology can figure out the answer to that by opening up Tinder in whatever city we’re in and weeding out the people who aren’t hookers.

According to Conde Nast Traveler’s annual Readers’ Choice Survey, we now know the friendliest and unfriendliest cities in the country, based on reviews from the magazine’s readers. The reviews are pretty much completely based on positive and negative reviews; basically, where you felt more welcome or not.

As far as the friendliest cities in America go, Southern Hospitality reigns supreme:

10. Asheville, North Carolina
8. TIE - Nashville, Tennessee & Key West, Florida
7. Jackson Hole, Wyoming
6. Fort Worth, Texas
5. New Orleans, Louisiana
4. Telluride, Colorado
3. San Antonio, Texas
2. Savannah, Georgia
1. Charleston, South Carolina

All cities below the Mason-Dixon line, save for Telluride, Colorado and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

As far as “Los Ciudades de Douchebag,” or “The cities of Douchebags” go, here are the least friendly cities in America:

10. Miami, Florida (Sorry Pitbull. ¡Dale!)
9. Wilmington, Delaware
8. The Hamptons, New York
7. Los Angeles, California
6. Detroit, Michigan
5. New Haven, Connecticut
4. Atlantic City, New Jersey
3. Hartford, Connecticut
2. Oakland, California
1. Newark, New Jersey

While I wouldn’t exactly call “The Hamptons” a city, I’m not surprised it’s on this list for two reasons: Firstly, It’s a great place to hang out, but unless you have a house or are staying in a friend’s house, relative’s house or a house you’re renting, there’s no place to go and hang out, most of the good beaches are private, etc. Secondly, while I’m happy New York City isn’t on the list, the towns of The Hamptons are mostly populated by the citizens of New York City from Memorial Day to Labor Day, and the richer and dickier you are, the longer you stay out there. Also, Bieber gets into fistfights there a lot. So, it makes sense.

And as someone who worked in Newark for about two months, I will agree that it can be one of the least friendly cities in America. It was also the least friendly city in the WORLD last year, beating out Kuwait, Islamabad and Detroit.

So basically, Southerners are the happiest and everyone else is a bunch of miserable pricks. Sounds about right.

[via CNN]