Hockey fans – all thirteen of us – are our own brand of lunatic. America knew this long before David Puddy was showing up on our television screens covered in New Jersey Devils-colored body paint alongside George Costanza and Jerry…Read More »

I don’t watch “House of Cards”. I’ve never even seen an episode. I have absolutely no idea what it’s about. Couldn’t even tell you what channel it’s on, or what night of the week it runs. Fight me, Internet. It’s…Read More »

Profile What Your Resume Says: Name What It Actually Means: At least one thing on this piece of paper is honest. What Your Resume Says: Address What It Actually Means: Please don’t look me up. I still live with my…Read More »

Enough with all these hometown dick measuring contests. What America really needs is a Hunger Games style competition, in which a child from the country’s worst cities are chosen as sacrificial tributes. This begs several questions. If such a tournament were…Read More »

A grad school degree used to mean something in this country: that you were willing to rack up some casual debt in order to keep the party known as higher education going. While the return on most grad students’ investment…Read More »

With all due respect to the chosen people and Bar Mitzvahs, one does not become a man or woman until a little slice of Americana colloquially known as The Food Network becomes the central ingredient of one’s television diet. Confession…Read More »

My basic threshold for whether I find someone cool is if I’d have a beer with them. Sounds simple at face value, right? It’s a hell of a standard when you think about it, though. Right away, it rules out…Read More »