You cannot define a power move, but you’ll know it when you see it. It’s big time, it’s bold, and it lets everyone in your vicinity know that you are a force to be reckoned with.
Flying the friendly skies has never looked this good. 1. Business Select or GTFO. 2. “You know, ‘A-List Preferred’ used to mean something in this country!” 3. Ask the gate agent if you can board the plane from stairs instead…
It’s open season now. Time to stir up that smoldering trash pile that is your love life. “Sup.” Take her shopping in the clearance candy aisle. Tell her to go wild. Roses are red, violets are blue, do you still…
Give your interviewer a dap in lieu of a handshake. “Now, which office is gonna be mine?” Call yourself a “champion” of something. Integrity, industry, patience, time management. Doesn’t matter. You’re just a well dressed, American winning machine and they…
Buying the office building he works in and proceeding to run it like a Soviet work camp. Responding to a coworker’s prank by boasting about being able to skin a mule deer in under five minutes. Bringing a loaded gun into the…
1. Paying a stripper with a giant check made out to “Science.” 2. Following up the Best Man’s speech at Phyllis and Bob’s wedding with one of his own. 3.Buying a condo to “fill with children.” 4. Publicly shaming Dwight…
Verbally undress anyone who suggests going to a bar and excommunicate them from your friend group immediately. Private venue or GTFO. Black tie or GTFO. Open bar or GTFO. Show up to the venue in a Lincoln Navigator limo and just…
Whip around and say, “Who you callin’ turkey?” anytime someone mentions turkey and laugh because that joke LANDS. Sneak up behind your girlfriend and ask her if she got enough stuffing. “Yeah, I laid two large on the Lions about 30…
Throw the up-and-down “Put on some weight?” look in the direction of a former sexual competitor. Add at least $10,000 dollars to your annual salary, even if no one asks what it is. “There, there, there too, on top of that…
Assert your dominance by releasing a loud, echoing fart no more than 10 seconds after entering the bathroom. Go full Pooh Bear at the urinal and place your hands on your hips. Exaggerate zipping up your pants by violently thrusting your…
All Hawaiian shirts, all the time. “Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office with limited or no access to email, but definite access to Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. If you need further assistance, too bad.”…
Log In / Signup
May 11, 2017
44
