Hello from 10,000 feet! As I fly home from my weekend in Texas with fellow PGPers Taylor and Tina, with guest appearances by Kyle, Dave, Will and Producer Micah, I’m feeling pretty good. We ate, we (well, they) drank, and I got a super cool pair of free socks from the bounce house place we visited with Kyle’s son.

As I await my Bischoff cookies on this flight, I’m scrolling through Twitter and it looks like not everyone had as good of a weekend as I did. I’m not going to touch what occurred in Charlottesville (except to say I’m super worried that the Home Depot tiki torches in my backyard are now going to make my neighbors think I’m a racist asshole), but even setting that horrible event aside, it seems like not everyone had as much fun this weekend as I did with “famous internet personality” Taylor Stovall and crew.

Tom Cruise

While I steadfastly refuse to believe that Tom Cruise has made any movies after Top Gun, he apparently is still working, and doing his own stunts, which resulted in an injury over the weekend.

Cruise injured himself on the set of Mission Impossible 6 this weekend while performing a building jumping stunt. According to TMZ, “The 55-year-old actor was in London Sunday when he attempted to leap from a rigging onto a building but he fell short of the mark and hit the building pretty hard.” Cruise then limped away from the scene while crew members tended to him.

While there’s no word on his injury, there is one thing we can say for sure: Maverick would have made that jump. [Via TMZ]

Applebees

Recently, millennials have been blamed for everything from the closing of book stores to the shortage of prosecco. And now, they are now being targeted as the reason for the decline of one of America’s favorite chain restaurants.

On Thursday, Applebee’s executives announced that the chain would be closing between 105 and 135 locations this year. According to Applebee’s brand president John Cywinski, attempts to woo millennials are to blame for Applebee’s sagging sales:

Over the past few years, the brand’s set out to reposition or reinvent Applebee’s as a modern bar and grill in overt pursuit of a more youthful and affluent demographic with a more independent or even sophisticated dining mindset, including a clear pendulum swing towards millennials.

In my perspective, this pursuit led to decisions that created confusion among core guests, as Applebee’s intentionally drifted from its what I’ll call its Middle America roots and its abundant value position. While we certainly hope to extend our reach, we can’t alienate Boomers or Gen-Xers in the process.

Ugh. If I can’t get a culturally-inappropriately-named Oriental Chicken Salad anymore, I’m going to be pissed. [Via Business Insider]

Stassi Schroeder

If you don’t watch Vanderpump Rules, you can just scroll to the next story because you aren’t going to care about this one. But if you’re a fan (or maybe just a heartless meanie), you’re going to want to know about Stassi’s heartbreak.

Our favorite former waitress/current podcast host was dumped over the weekend by her on-again/off-again boyfriend Patrick Meagher. That sucks, but that’s not the worst of it: the breakup came after Schroeder had planned a getaway to Mexico for the two to celebrate their fourth anniversary.
Of course, Stassi took to social media to discuss the situation, likening herself to a modern day Carrie Bradshaw after being stood up by Big at their wedding.

Currently…. @rachaelnobrien, will you accompany me to Mexico, close the shades & feed me oatmeal on the trip I planned? If I see any ❤ shit, I may die.

A post shared by Stassi Schroeder (@stassischroeder) on Aug 12, 2017 at 3:39pm PDT

Stassi, I’m sorry for your loss, but let’s be honest: you’re not Carrie Bradshaw. You’ll never be Carrie Bradshaw. [Via People]

New York City Subway Riders

An informal poll of my girl friends would tell you that a dick pic does absolutely nothing for them, and I think this is pretty much the case for most females. Yet, dudes persist in sending them to us, whether they be in our DMs or as a response to our innocent opening line on Bumble. But now, guys on the New York City Subway have found a new, even creepier way to share pictures of their junk with unsuspecting females.

People riding the subways in New York have been victims of people using the iPhone AirDrop feature to send crotch shots to their fellow passengers. While the default AirDrop seeing is “contacts only,” people who have changed it to “everyone” can get messages from anyone within Bluetooth range, around 325 feet.

According to Brad Salzman, a sex-addiction therapist, this high-tech flashing may be attractive penis-snappers because the anonymity it affords. He told the New York Post, “In the past, flashers would have to go out in public in a trench coat and risk getting arrested. Now . . . their minds can run wild.”

The problem doesn’t affect people with Androids…which may be the only reason to get an Android. [Via New York Post]

Tim Tebow

It’s probably bad enough that one-time professional quarterback Tim Tebow is playing minor leagues of baseball, but things got a little bit worse for him this weekend when he was hit by a pitch.

While playing for the St. Lucie Mets, Tebow took a fastball to the head from Tampa Yankees pitcher Trevor Lane in the ninth inning Saturday night. The ball hit him so hard it actually knocked off his helmet, but he did stay in the game and ultimately scored. However, it wasn’t enough since the Mets lost 5 to 1.

Oh, well.. [Via ESPN]

Image via YouTube

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at [email protected].

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