Walk into the office and a coworker is blasting a motivational YouTube video. PGP.

The janitor asks me daily why I always look so tired. He’s been throwing out my trash for 8 years now. PGP.

“Can you please respond to this?” PGP.

“Looks like you got some sun.” PGP.

I can’t even fake being nice to people anymore. Now I’m just the office bitch. PGP.

Every day feels like the “longest day of the year” at my office. PGP.

“Why didn’t you ask me about my vacation?” PGP.

Didn’t realize I scheduled my health screening for the day I come back from vacation until just now. PGP.

The office coffee pot is broken. PGP.

My entire office is covered in wood paneling. PGP.

Life goal: be the Creed of my office. PGP.

Being not only awake, but at work before Morning Coffee Thoughts is posted. PGP.

Today my boss asked our team to pledge our loyalty to him. PGP.

New job doesn’t have wifi. PGP.

Just realized I’ve reached that point in my life where someone giving me a tie as a gift is socially acceptable. PGP.

The hot girl turned in her two weeks notice today. PGP.

When one of your Teaming Partners VP of Business Development adds you on Snapchat via “in my contacts”. PGP.

Got a promotion. New title, More responsibilities, More stress. Same pay. PGP.

Taught my coworker how to make an Outlook appointment today; he makes way more than me. PGP.

I was just approached to be on the show “Married at First Sight.” PGP.