I fucking love going to Lowe’s. PGP.

Exclusively scheduling lunch/coffee meetings so I don’t ever have to spend my own money on food. PGP.

I missed Amazon Prime Day. PGP.

Rethinking my life after seeing my uber rating fall from 4.9 to 4.81 in a span of 3 weeks. PGP.

I sharted in the shower this morning. My body is officially falling apart. PGP.

“Buy anything on Prime Day?” PGP.

Leaving your headphones at home. PGP.

The new office wifi blocks anything that isn’t email. PGP.

The supply room was restocked with my favorite pens and I’m pretty jazzed about it. PGP.

I was cool in high school and college. Not anymore. PGP.

Peaking in college. PGP.

Ate my lunch much outside the other day, got sunburnt and sweated through my shirt. PGP.

I probably only do about 2 hours of actual work in a given week, I don’t think my boss notices. PGP.

Showing an aggressive amount of chest hair for a Monday. PGPowerMove.

My mentor is hot and married. PGP.

Skipped the weekly work happy hour because I’m still hungover from the long weekend. PGP.

Coworker just called me in her office to show me her Facebook album full of quilts. PGP.

My floor’s AC was turned off for a good part of the afternoon yesterday. My floor was the only floor in the office where the AC went off. PGP.

Housekeeping just switched our toilet paper from 3-ply quilted to commercial 2-ply. PGP.

Starbucks in my office is out of cold brew. PGP.